A Girl's Guide to Being Friends With Girls











{February 8, 2012}   Girly Girl

One of the very first things I brought up in my first column is that there is no such thing as a “normal” girl.  And I stand by that.

Of course, that gets kinda hard to believe sometimes.  Our society is so mired in ideas about gender that there are many things that get labeled “feminine” for whatever reason (and often stupid, stupid reasons).  And then girls are supposed to like these feminine things.

But here’s an added problem: the same people labeling these things as “feminine” do their damnedest to convince us that “masculine” things are the default setting and the CORRECT things.  Anything “feminine” gets associated with being weak, wrong and/or second class.  So, if you choose to like feminine things, you’re wrong.  But if you choose to reject them, you’re also wrong.

You noticed a recurring pattern in these columns?  The world REALLY likes to tell girls that no matter what we do, we’re screwed.

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(This column originally appeared on Buzznet.com on November 30, 2011.  It has been reposted here with some slight changes)

“I don’t want to be friends with other girls, they’re all catty, stuck-up bitches.”

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this or seen it online, I would never need to work another day in my life. It’s a scarily common sentiment with a lot of upsetting ideas.

Maybe it’s ridiculous to assume people need a guide to being friends with each other.  But the more and more I see of what I like to call “Toxic Girl Hate” or girls hating other girls BECAUSE they are girls/because they’re told they shouldn’t want to be friends with other girls, the more I feel like punching something.  The whole idea is pure crap.

So, I figured, hey, maybe the way to fight back against that kind of stuff is to write something a little more positive.  Because, hey, maybe in a world rife with bullying, relationships that occur solely over the Internet and being constantly buried in media, maybe we do need a guide to friendship.

Hence: A Girl’s Guide To Being Friends With Girls.

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et cetera